Under Construction

Breast Forgive the repetitive use of the breast graphic but stay with me for a moment while I shift your attention to my latest visit with the surgeon who will remove both my breasts.  Yes, I opted for a double mastectomy, and without skipping a beat, he says, “You need to think about breast reconstruction DURING the surgery.”

I barely came to terms with the fact that my mortality is in jeopardy, never mind worrying about replacing my boobs. “Um…no, I don’t need to think about that right now,” I said.

“Well, I’m still going to send you to a plastic surgeon for a consultation,” he said.

That’s fine. I’ll go, but I’m pretty sure I’d rather focus strictly on procedures that might help me avoid dying. But on the way home, I thought about it. What if this is my opportunity to have the breasts I always wanted? Ya know, like the ones in the graphic.

So I did a little research. Unfortunately, the standard reconstruction looks something closer to this –
Breast Reconstruction

and “this” involves numerous follow up visits to stretch the skin and muscle to make room for the silicone implants. So the question is: do I just wear the scars on my flat chest like a warrior, or do I put myself through a procedure that carries its own set of risks and discomfort to do the equivalent of a male comb-over? I really don’t think I want two misshapen lumps filled with a shitload of silicone. Seriously, what kind of decision is this?

Posted in Breast Cancer.


  1. Obviously, you’re the only one who can decide whether having a flat warrior chest will make you feel the female equivalent of emasculate, but if it were me that’s still the route I’d go. Why put yourself through more risk simply to try to live up to society’s unending pressure to mold yourself into it’s capitalist- and male-based ideas of what female beauty is? I think women who wear their scars proudly are wildly sexy. Those scars show better than any mere tattoo that this person has waged war with a serious foe and come out the victor. But that’s just my own take on it.

  2. Seriously, what kind of decision is this?

    Denise, it boggles the mind, this does. It’s an utterly crap decision to have to make at the worst time possible.

    I already saw you as a strong Warrior Queen before I knew of this battle. You are Denise, no matter what you decide to do, you’ll still be a superhero… I need to find you that cape.

  3. Geez Denise you never take the easy path my girl. Sending all the strength, healing and love I can pull together for you.

    Up to you my girl with or without boobs you will always be Denise.

    If you want my choice for you ~. I’d get them ~ you are already going through the turmoil ~ might as well get a new set of twins. Also think they will turn out better than that picture you posted. A friend had double mas she got a new set to be honest they look pretty kewl and she is really happy she says they are real perky and make her happy.

    Long and short the most important thing is to kickass Denise like your usual self. Just get cancer free with boobs or without ~ just hang with us here on earth for at least another 20 years or so my friend ~~ hugs

  4. Good grief. Another absurdity in our skewed society. If it were me, I’d choose the Amazon warrior… which you already are, no matter what “shape” you fill.

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