It’s New Year’s Eve, 13 days after my mastectomy, and I’m facing a new year that begins with chemotherapy. I probably don’t have to tell you that my desire to celebrate 2013 rates right up there with doing this to my chin.
Because I consider myself a rational soul, I’m going to honor that crappy attitude, acknowledge it’s validity, and try my best to re-frame it before I become consumed with negativity. So, I prepare myself by doing a complete head dump and spend 2 hours mindlessly surfing the internet, where I find the above image using the search term “Things I Don’t Want To Do”. Out with the old, in with the odd.
When I get tired of that, I check my email, send to my trashbin Barrister John Okoye, legal adviser to the late Mr.and Mrs.William Scott who died in a plane crash and left me all their money, and click on a link to a cyber-friend’s blog post. Who better to cheer me up than Taslim, one of those people with so much positive energy that if you stick her to the roof on a sunny day, her body could theoretically replace your solar panels. Who knows? If she could learn to love her feet and feel gratitude for a full garbage bag, maybe I could I could learn to stop imagining myself puncturing my drainage bulbs with a kitchen knife.
I get much more than I bargained for when I happen upon one of her blog posts from October. If any of you are going through a tough time, I urge you to read it too. Here’s the LINK. Thanks Taslim, I needed that to remind me that human beings get through some pretty horrendous traumas and come out fresh and pretty on the other side.
Happy New Year! 2013 will be the year that I beat cancer.
I read Taslim’s words, and (no surprise) was moved and wept and felt appreciative of her contribution. Much as I read your words, and (no surprise) frequently smile, and feel appreciative of you and your words. Happy New Year, Dear Friend.
HNY, my love. I’m hoping for the gentlest possible year with closeness, forgiveness, healing and warmth abounding!!
Love to read your words. Hoping 2013 turns out to be what you want it to be. Sending good thoughts. Paulette
Happy, happy new year, my dear.
Hell of a year, 2013 will be. Beating something as big as cancer is a huge challenge to which you are more than equal! On the way there may be some parts that are pukey, other parts spooky and definitely you will introduce much that is cooky. But you’ll celebrate the end of 2013 with more of a sense of accomplishment, more gratitude for the love that comes your way, more sense of self control and self determination than you have ever felt before. Even the parts that suck will be very much a life worth living. This will surely be your biggest – and I know you find this hard to believe – your BEST year ever.
I love you madly,
Dear Denise – you have such a unique way with words! You make me tear up and roar with laughter within a single sentence. The honour you have given me here is..well, an incredible way to start the new year. 2013 is the year you not only overcome the challenges placed before you, but you continue to inspire others. Is it just me, or do you feel a new book brewing? Whatever comes your way, Denise, I look forward to riding it with you. Our paths crossing has been one of the BEST parts of my journey. Please keep writing. Inspiration works both ways.
Lots of love,
Just want to say, I celebrate your sharing the journey, I dynamite the cancer cells one by one, I like the link and the attitude it reminds of to cultivate, and remember, 13 is a power number. Love you.
Oh, and that picture is gross!
JEEZ, Denise! I wish I could unsee that picture. Your drainage bulbs are jewelry compared to that! Now you’ve got me thinking about choices…. Your decision to pursue health, even though it comes with some awful, scary consequences, is a much better decision, I think, than to actively choose to install a picture window in your chin.